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I changed my name on Facebook today. That was weird.

(even weirder that the sentence above is even a thing…) As if FB somehow tells me who I am, but whatever.

It was probably the first time I had actually stopped and thought about a different name. If someone asks me my name these days I kind of stumble and point at my ring and grin and stammer out something stupid about being confused and happy and tired. So sleepy.

But looking at the cursor blinking at me and a new name stopped me in my tracks. Honestly, life since Apr 1st has been a whirlwind. Moving out of Atlanta, crossing the Gulf in a boat (gulp!), planning and being in a wedding, family visits, honeymoons (hello awesome!!!) and reality of living on a boat. None of that leaves much time for self reflection – more or less I just show up to each day and smile. Who knows what the hell might happen – might as well smile!

I have been in Atlanta twice since I left – and I cried and begged (maybe not out loud) to stay both times.ย Then a sunset cruise makes me so happy I can barely stand myself as I crawl in my cozy boat bed, with a husband!!!! ย Then I lug laundry to the gross public washing machine and pay in quarters to have marginally clean clothes and I am grumpy.

Needless to say – keeping up with my wild ride of emotions is no small task. Feel free to pray for Bo. He is a champ.

Somewhere in all that Bo asks “wanna write a blog?” and I shake my head vigorously. But we make deals: “I will write a blog if you have a workout”. I am probably not supposed to tell you about our deals – but hey, I am writing and he is doing squats!

And I sit at this keyboard more confused than ever.

There is this whole faction of “Cruisers” who blog. (Cruisers are people who live on their sailboats and “cruise” around. Technically – WE are cruisers. Almost.) They write about #boatlife and talk WAY too much about fixing their boats and what the wind is doing.

If you want to know – sailing = there is either too much wind, too little wind, or wind in the wrong direction. Sailing in good wind is pretty much never from what I can tell. Anyways…

Then there is the blogger I used to be – the funny one who kinda told inappropriate things – but they were super funny so we all tolerated it.

Then there is the blogger I used to, used to be. The super christian one. Who wrote holy things and inspired people and talked about Jesus a lot.

And so the cursor in front of Allison Cordle blinks. And I can’t for the life of me figure out what kinda blog I am supposed to write. All of the above is the logical answer, but that is bound to bunch up someone’s panties in a wad. The sailing people will be confused by the Jesus talk and the church people will be confused by the cussing. There is bound to be cussing.

It is easier to just eat cheesecakes and look up workouts for Bo to do.

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